Gospel-Shaped Age Transformation

So when I looked back at my original profile picture and thought about jumping on the “How Hard Did Aging Hit You Challenge,” I didn’t want to share on Facebook because obviously I’m no longer 110 pounds, but I decided to post this because I am so glad that I’m NOT! Maybe those who aren’t feeling like sharing their aging process need to hear my story.

I look back here at someone who was performing and striving to earn my worth, in every single area. I was always taking extra credits in college, hustling as a shift manager at Starbucks downtown Chicago, remaining on the honor roll, ran multiple half marathons, maintained a social life, ministry leadership, and boyfriend, all while seeming 100% pulled together.

I had to do and be all these things to be enough, and sadly I think that I thought this was how God wanted me to live. I thought the gospel was just the first step, and that I needed to spend the rest of my life trying really hard for God, I had no idea it was truly grace at every turn.

Fast forward 12 years later and I’m not hanging out in the 110’s anymore, but the gospel has radically changed me so much that this doesn’t matter to me anymore. This is my age transformation.

I no longer need to work out everyday, I don’t always have to be dressed and in full makeup, I can pursue my hobbies and gifts because it’s who God made me, not to find my Identiy, prove myself, or with the need to earn my worth before God and others anymore. I’m comfortable in my skin, not just because of age, but because of a deep shift in my soul. Now I can much more easily talk about my shortcomings and failures, because I’ve hung up my cape and crowned my Savior on the throne of my life.

I wish I could go back and share the gospel with my Bible college self, but since I can’t, I’m posting this unflattering “age has definitely hit me” post to remind us all of how powerful God’s unconditional love is. I’m proof of it. We can’t earn it, we don’t deserve it, but when we embrace it, it changes everything. It’s what everyone is longing for, and it’s the opposite of every message we are bombarded with every day on social media that tells us we must continually prove ourselves in some way to be enough.

Jesus already lived the perfect life we could never live and died the death we deserve to die- and we get HIS perfect report card stamped over OUR messy lives (even if they seem perfect on the outside)! As we continually surrender it all to Him, the epic fails and the trophies alike, we get to claim that we are finally ENOUGH because of JESUS! The rest is a life lived in joyful service to God and others, not fearful, striving towards obedience.

Like many of you in the new year, I’ve recommitted (imperfectly) to my paleo diet and I’m hustling in the gym after a crazy holiday and moving season, but it’s with different motivations. It’s to be healthy, and it’s to care for the body God has given me so I can go on adventures with my kids and explore the PNW, but it’s not to be enough, or to prove myself, I finally understand that I’m enough in Jesus.

And Jesus loves you, regardless of how age has hit you, regardless of how hard you hustle or how bad you fail, again and again, you are beautiful and loved, exactly where you are! And because of God’s incredible grace, we don’t stay where we were, there is a hope and a future in Him!