Overcoming People Pleasing
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10
Not even a little bit, I would NOT be a servant of Jesus if I was trying to please people and win their approval. But how much time do you think our social media generation spends on the pursuit of the approval of man over God? I think we may collectively have a problem.
Paul sets up a clear contrast- the approval of man is in opposition to serving God. It isn’t a blurry line, it isn’t both/and, but rather either/or. You can’t have both, but that’s a hard truth to swallow as a people pleaser like myself.
I’ve had this verse memorized since high school, and it was one of the first verses I clung to as a brand new believer straight out of a world whose currency was built on gaining the approval of others. God has refined me over the years through testing and trial, again and again, to see if I would do what he was asking me to do despite what people say, or don’t say, do or don’t do, and if they clap or don’t clap.
This hit an all time boiling point while leading in ministry in Seattle when Covid hit and all the polarizing views collided, but it was up to me to make the calls. Our state shut down and gathering was now illegal, and as time went on, we saw this was not coming to an end anytime soon. Instead, I came to the end of myself and found that no matter what I decided for the ministry, someone would be upset at me. Neutrality was only worse because then everyone was mad.
During a good old fashioned ugly cry about this, with one specific person’s disapproval crushing me, God began weeding out the idol of people pleasing even further when he whispered to my heart, “Do you need people to like you in order to serve me?” The conviction stung and I pressed into this over the rest of my time there. I’m so glad I allowed God to perform this spiritual surgery that my heart so desperately needed. Doing that work with the Lord greatly prepared me for the next place he would call me to ministry. God never wastes a trial, and today’s frustration, when given into the hands of God, is training for tomorrow’s assignment.
There is so much freedom in doing what God has called us to do without awarding any value to people’s approval, which is incredibly fickle anyway! People’s ever shifting opinions don’t matter when you know you’re pleasing the only One who does, and who never changes like shifting shadows. The more I make the choice in my heart to please God over people, the more I’ve gotten to see his faithfulness to me, which only encourages me to trust him more.
I’ve seen opposition strengthen the cause that God has assigned me to do.
I’ve embraced trials and trolls as 100% part of God’s sovereign storyline, and learned to bless them in Jesus name!
I’ve accepted setbacks as divine pivots or pauses in His plot line, instead of making it about my feelings or what others might think about my perceived performance.
The key to overcoming people pleasing is to increase our awe and wonder of God by worshiping Him throughout each day. It’s beginning by sitting at his feet before the sun rises, worshiping during the transitions in our schedule, and spending our last moments in gratitude before we rest our heads on the pillow. It’s learning to know his voice and discerning his will as the Word transforms our minds.
Spending time with God will produce supernatural love and compassion for those whose approval we will never get. Our perspective shifts when our eyes are fixed on Jesus instead of people. Our hearts can be at peace when we trust God, and no longer need to expend energy pining after someone else’s opinion.
We rise above people pleasing by choosing to take a high level view of the situation. We can look at the end of Jospeh’s life and easily see the grand plan, but we can actually live right now as if we’re already on the other side of the promise, that what man intends for evil, God will use for good to bring about his purposes at the proper time.
Laura DiLeonardi
Laura DiLeonardi is the founder of Agape Moms, a national network of missional communities for mothers that launched in 2016. Since early 2022, she’s served as the Director of Community at The Journey Church in Lebanon, TN where she oversees Life Groups, the Women’s Ministry and where she planted her third Agape Moms chapter. Laura is a writer, speaker and mobilizer for women of all ages to live on mission for Jesus in their everyday lives. She is married to her Moody Bible Institute sweetheart, Matt since 2009 and they have three kids, Jack, Selah and Lucy, and two fur babies, Bear and Lady. In her free time she enjoys hiking with the family, running, and good conversation over a cup of coffee. Laura's passion is seeing lives continually transformed by the gospel of Jesus Christ.